Current location:	undisclosed
Current mood:	thoughtful
Entry tags:	religion

Shmirah
First, this was seen in a .sig:
Soccer/Futbol. IPv6. Both have lots of 1's and 0's and have a hard time catching on in North America.

Second, a person IMed me saying "Dot1x told me to tell you that you suck" Bwaaa!

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Sarah and I saw a female friend the other day, who upon leaving gave Sarah a hug, and looked a little awkward as she said goodbye to me.

She (the friend) told Sarah that she wasn't sure whether I was shomer negiah or not, and didn't know what to do.

I haven't actually done the learning about the true sources, although the ones listed on wikipedia are a decent start. The problem is that all of the sources I've encountered are specifically about having sex (the passage linked by Wikipedia specifically is talking about incest [ewwww....]) - none of the primary sources seem to be reference the concept of touching in any way other than wholly sexual. The Talmudic references are to a husband sleeping clothed in the same bed with his wife when she is a niddah - not quite germaine to the conversation, imo.

So the question is this: from exactly where does the concept of not touching members of the opposite sex (other than immediate family & spouse) under any circumstance come from? I know that there's The Magic Touch, but negiah is fully assumed by the book, and then it's a polemic about why it's a good thing (in the context of single people dating).

I also know that there is a general prohibition on being alone yihud with members of the opposite sex - that actually makes some sense to me, because nearly all of the various issues of infidelity and harrassment which important people seem to encounter would be thoroughly prevented.

So perhaps negiah is to be understood as a subset of yihud, then? Just another prohibition to remove oneself from the possibility of sin? Now, I'm down on sin just like everyone else (hey, I heard that!), but there seems to be a cart before horse issue here: once we do things like say "no handshaking" and "no listening to women's voices" we're encroaching on some of the questions about actually experiencing the world which God has made for us. To wit, the general concept is that a Biblical prohibition is really, really serious, so we have around that Rabbinic prohibitions which are not as strict and have a bit of wiggle room - but living according to those Rabbinic laws keeps us from transgressing the Biblical commandments. How many fences do we need?

My understanding of the fundamental purpose of human existence is the sanctification and glorification of the Holy One, Blessed is He - but what sanctification comes from the avoidence of all experience? Isn't it a greater sanctification to do those things which are permitted, and abstain from those things which are prohibited? Blending the two of them, and saying that the permitted is forbidden is no less a sinful action than the converse.

But all of that is a preamble - I am quite conflicted, because while I don't find (for instance) handshakes particularly sexual, backrubs are. And really, from a legal basis, what is the difference between the two (other than of course that one will get our current President some grief). Certainly in my prior life I encountered lots of situations where seemingly innocent contact led to things which were anything but, so the concern is not entirely unfounded.

But then again, you do get total whackjobs like Rabbi Shmuel Neiman who wrote 9 to 5: a guide to [being a total flaming asshole in everyday encounters, written from the point of view of someone who could not possibly have ever actually worked more than one day in his entire sorry life]. (whew! sorry) - anyway, nutjobs like R. Neiman are helpful in the way that flat-earth society members are helpful at an AAAS meeting.

So I'm left with a reactionary position (pun not intended), where I try to mirror the expectations of others so that they're comfortable, but I suck at it. I function much better in environments where I know the etiquitte (as do most people), so workplace etiquitte is easy: handshakes and nothing else. Perfect! easy, simple.